GeekCode - Version 4.0

General suggestions:

• We have been demonstrated, how long an outdated version of the GeekCode can prevail. Therefore it should be as timeless as possible -> No references to current TV-series or similar.
• Geeks live everywhere -> Local references (like candidates for presidentship) should be avoided.

Variables

Geeks can seldom be strictly quantified. To facilitate the fact that within any one category the geek may not be able to determine a specific rating, variables have been designed to allow this range to be included.

@

for this variable, said trait is not very rigid, may change with time or with individual interaction. For example, Geeks who happen to very much enjoy Star Trek: The Next Generation, but dislike the old 60's series might list themselves as t++@.

()

for indicating "cross-overs" or ranges. Geeks who go from C+ to C--- depending on the situation (i.e. mostly "C+") could use C+(---). @ is different from () in that () has finite limits within the category, while @ ranges all over.

>

for 'wannabe' ratings. Indicating that while the geek is currently at one rating, they are striving to reach another. For example, C++>$ indicating a geek that is currently computer savvy, but wants to someday make money at it.

$

Indicates that this particular category is done for a living. For example, UL+++$ indicates that the person utilizes Unix and gets paid for it. Quite a lucky geek, for sure.

?

Unless stated otherwise within the specific category, the ? is placed after the category identifier and indicates that the geek has no knowledge about that specific category. For example, a person that has never even heard of Babylon 5, would list their Babylon 5 category as 5?

!

Placed BEFORE the category. Unless stated otherwise, indicates that the person refuses to participate in this category. This is unlike the ? variable as the ? indicates lack of knowledge, while the ! indicates stubborn refusal to participate. For example, !E would be a person that just plain refuses to have anything to do with Emacs, while E? would be a person that doesn't even know what Emacs is.

New GeekCode:

• Appearance
• Computers
• Politics
• Entertainment
• Lifestyle

Types of Geeks

Geeks come in many flavors. The flavors relate to the vocation (or, if a student, what they are training in) of the particular geek. To start a code, a geek must declare himself or herself to be a geek. To do this, we start the code with a "G" to denote "GEEK", followed by one or two letters to denote the geek's occupation or field of study. Multi-talented geeks with more than one vocational training should denote their myriad of talents with a slash between each vocation (example: GCS/MU/TW).

GB --- Geek of Business

GC --- Geek of Classics

GCA -- Geek of Commercial Arts

GCM -- Geek of Computer Management

GCS -- Geek of Computer Science

GCC -- Geek of Communications

GE --- Geek of Engineering

GED -- Geek of Education

GFA -- Geek of Fine Arts

GG --- Geek of Government

GH --- Geek of Humanities

GIT -- Geek of Information Technology

GJ --- Geek of Jurisprudence (Law)

GLS -- Geek of Library Science

GL --- Geek of Literature

GMC -- Geek of Mass Communications

GM --- Geek of Math

GMD -- Geek of Medicine

GMU -- Geek of Music

GPA -- Geek of Performing Arts

GP --- Geek of Philosophy

GS --- Geek of Science (Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc.)

GSS -- Geek of Social Science (Psychology, Sociology, etc.)

GTW -- Geek of Technical Writing

GO --- Geek of Other. Some types of geeks deviate from the normal geek activities. This is encouraged as true geeks come from all walks of life.

GU --- Geek of 'Undecided'. This is a popular vocation with incoming freshmen.

G! --- Geek of no qualifications. A rather miserable existence, you would think.

GAT -- Geek of All Trades. For those geeks that can do anything and everything. GAT usually precludes the use of other vocational descriptors.

APPEARANCE

They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression. That seems to be ample justification to invent a time machine; just to play with the minds of the people that make up these silly sayings. Nevertheless, until we completely understand temporal mechanics and can get both a DeLorean and a Flux Capacitor in the same place at the same time at 88 miles an hour, we need to understand that how we look is a mark that will effect us for the rest of our lives, or at least until we change clothes.

The Geek, of course, doesn't believe any of that crap. How we look has little to do with what we are inside, and who we are as people. Yet, people still want to know what we look like. Thus, this section allows you to list out all the relevant traits about what you look like on a normal geeky day.

Dress

d++

I tend to wear conservative dress such as a business suit or worse, a tie.

d+

Good leisure-wear. Slacks, button-shirt, etc. No jeans, tennis shoes, or t-shirts.

d

I dress a lot like those found in catalog ads. Bland, boring, without life or meaning.

d-

I'm usually in jeans and a t-shirt.

d--

My t-shirts go a step further and have a trendy political message on them.

d---

Punk dresser, including, but not limited to, torn jeans and shirts, body piercings, and prominent tattoos.

dx

Cross Dresser

d?

I have no idea what I am wearing right now, let alone what I wore yesterday.

!d

No clothing. Quite a fashion statement, don't you think?

dpu

I wear the same clothes all the time, no matter the occasion, forgetting to do laundry between wearings.

Shape

s+++:+++

I usually have to duck through doors/I take up three movie seats.

s++:++

I'm a basketball/linebacker candidate.

s+:+

I'm a little taller/rounder than most.

s:

I'm an average geek

s-:-

I look up to most people. Everyone tells me to gain a few pounds.

s--:--

I look up to damn near everybody. I tend to have to fight against a strong breeze.

s---:---

I take a phone book with me when I go out so I can see to eat dinner. My bones are poking through my skin.

Age

The only way to become a true geek is through practice and experience. To this end, your age becomes an important part of your geekiness. Use the qualifiers below to show your age (in Terran years). Also, please use BASE 10 numbers.

a+++

60 and up

a++

50-59

a+

40-49

a

30-39

a-

25-29

a--

20-24

a---

15-19

a----

10-14

a-----

9 and under (Geek in training?)

a?

immortal

!a

it's none of your business how old I am

COMPUTERS

[Changes: UNIX, Perl -> Scripting Languages, Linux, Emacs -> Editors, USENET News -> Usenet vs. forums, Windows, Macintosh
Minor Changes: Many, lost track, sorry]

There is a record of geeks that don't use computers. Unfortunately, they are all dead, having lived in an era of no computers. All modern geeks have some exposure to computers. If you don't know what a computer is, you need to go back into your shell.

Computers

C++++

I'll be first in line to get the new cybernetic interface installed into my skull.

C+++

You mean there is life outside of Internet? You're shittin' me! I haven't dragged myself to class in weeks.

C++

Computers are a large part of my existence. When I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is log myself in. I play games on weekends, but still manage to stay off of academic probation.

C+

Computers are fun and I enjoy using them. I can use a character prompt without resorting to the manpage too often. I also know that when it says 'press any key to continue', I don't have to look for a key labeled 'ANY'.

C

Computers are a tool, nothing more. I use them when it serves my purpose.

C-

Anything more complicated than my calculator and I'm screwed.

C--

Where's the on switch?

C---

If you even mention computers, I will rip your head off!

UNIX

TODO

B - BSD (use this unless your BSDish system is mentioned below)

L - Linux

M - Mac OS X

* - Some other one not listed

U+++

I am the sysadmin. If you try and crack my machine don't be surprised if the municipal works department gets an "accidental" computer-generated order to start a new landfill on your front lawn or your quota is reduced to 4K.

U++

I don't need to crack /etc/passwd because I just modified su so that it doesn't prompt me. The admin staff doesn't even know I'm here. If you don't understand what I just said, this category does NOT apply to you!

U+

I've get the entire admin ticked off at me because I am always using all of the CPU time and trying to run programs that I don't have access to. I'm going to try cracking /etc/passwd next week, just don't tell anyone.

U

I have a Unix account to do my stuff in

U-

I've seen Unix and didn't like it.

U--

Unix geeks are actually nerds in disguise.

Linux

L+++

I am Linus, grovel before me.

L++

I am a Linux wizard. I munch C code for breakfast and have enough room left over for a kernel debugging. I have so many patches installed that I lost track about ten versions ago.

L+

I use Linux exclusively on my system.

L

I have a partition running Linux. It's the frequently used one :)

L-

I want to use a computer, not constantly configure it. Well, maybe I'll give Ubuntu a try, some time...

L--

Linux sucks. Being at it: So does Unix. I worship Bill Gates.

L---

I am Bill Gates.

Microsoft Windows

w+++

I am Bill Gates

w++

I write MS Windows programs in C and think about using C++ someday. I've written at least one DLL.

w+

My machine runs Windows XP. With the 'Luna'-theme! I frequently use Outlook und Internet Explorer. I just wonder, why my machine is so slow lately...

w

Ok, so I use MS Windows, I don't have to like it.

w-

Why should I use Windows, when there are so many better OSes around?

 

w--

Windows has set back the computing industry by at least 10 years. Bill Gates should be drawn, quartered, hung, shot, poisoned, disembowelled, and then REALLY hurt.

Macintosh

M++

I am a Mac guru. Now that the OS is a Unix in disguise, I love it even more.

M+

A Mac has it's uses and I use it quite often.

M

I use a Mac, but I'm pretty indifferent about it.

M-

Macs suck.

Scripting Languages

P+++

A scripting language, oh please. I want full control over my memory.

P++

What's wrong with sed and awk?

P+

Perl is a very powerful programming tool. I use Perl for all programs of less than a thousand lines.

P

Python is the new Perl!

P-

Move outta the way for Ruby (on Rails).

P--

I use PHP for webbased scripts... Does that count?

Editors

E++

'vim' is for weenies. I stick to the original. Hail 'vi'!

E+

I need all the efficient possibilities offered by 'vim'.

E

I just want to write texts and I can think of simpler editors like 'joe', 'textpad' or 'mg' for that.

E-

Yeah, I know what 'emacs' is, and use it as my regular editor.

E--

'Emacs' is a damn fine operating system, whatever others may say...

E---

I use 'MS Word'.

World Wide Web

W++

I am a WebMaster. I believe in web-standards. My site looks like crap in InternetExplorer on purpose. Use Firefox!

W+

I have a homepage. I surf daily. My homepage is advertised in my .signature.

W

I have a browser and a connection. I surf to geeky sites, like slashdot and sourceforge.

W-

I never find anything on the web. Except viruses and trojans it seems.

W--

I just read this, because my child placed me in front of the computer.

USENET or forums?

N++

I read all the news in a select handful of groups.

N+

I read news recreationally when I have some time to kill.

N

I use both, Usenet and forums, based on the topic.

N-

I read forums recreationally when I have some time to kill.

N--

I am a 'Senior Member' in at least a dozen forums.

N*

I prefer a 'Push'-Medium. Therefore I rely on mailing lists.

POLITICS

[Changes: PGP,
Minor Changes: P--, P---]

The last few years has seen the rise of the political geek. This phenomena is little understood, but some theorize that it has come about because of the popular media's attempts to demonize the Internet and computer use in general, and the government's willingness to go along with it. Others propose that the aging geek population has simply started taking an interest in the world around them. Some support the "Sun Spot" theory.

Political and Social Issues

PS+++

Legalize drugs! Abolish the government. "Fuck the draft!"

PS++

I give to liberal causes. I march for gay rights. Keep abortion safe and legal.

PS+

My whole concept of liberalism is that nobody has the right to tell anybody else what to do, on either side of the political fence. If you don't like it, turn the bloody channel.

PS

I really don't have an opinion; nobody's messing with my freedoms right now.

PS-

Label records! Keep dirty stuff off the TV and the Internet.

PS--

Oppose sex education, abortion rights, gay rights. "Evolution" is a fairy tale, Creationism rules!

PS---

Repent left-wing sinners and change your wicked evil ways.

Politics and Economic Issues

PE+++

Abolish antitrust legislation. Raise taxes on everyone but the rich so that the money can trickle-down to the masses.

PE++

Keep the government off the backs of businesses. Deregulate as much as possible.

PE+

Balance the budget with spending cuts and an amendment.

PE

Distrust both government and business.

PE-

It's ok to increase government spending, so we can help more poor people. Tax the rich! Cut the defense budget!

PE--

Capitalism is evil! Government should provide the services we really need. Nobody should be rich.

Cypherpunks

Y+++

I am T.C. May

Y++

I am on the cypherpunks mailing list and active around Usenet. I never miss an opportunity to talk about the evils of Clipper and ITAR and the NSA. Orwell's 1984 is more than a story, it is a warning to our's and future generations. I'm a member of the EFF.

Y+

I have an interest and concern in privacy issues, but in reality I am not really all that active or vocal.

Y

I'm pretty indifferent on the whole issue.

Y-

It seems to me that all of these concerns are a little extreme. I mean, the government must be able to protect itself from criminals and the populace from indecent speech.

Y--

Get a life. The only people that need this kind of protection are people with something to hide. I think cypherpunks are just a little paranoid.

Y---

I am L. Detweiler.

PGP/GPG

PGP++++

I am Philip Zimmerman

PGP+++

I don't send or answer mail that is not encrypted, or at the very least signed. If you are reading this without decrypting it first, something is wrong. IT DIDN'T COME FROM ME!

PGP++

I have the most recent version and use it regularly

PGP+

I encrypt solely to increase the amount of encrypted traffic, so that it won't be suspicious anymore to use GPG.

PGP

"Finger me for my public key"

PGP-

I've used it, but stopped long ago.

PGP--

I don't have anything to hide.

PGP---

If you support encryption on the Internet, you must be a drug dealer or terrorist or something like that.

ENTERTAINMENT

[Out: Babylon 5, X-Files
Changes: EgoShooters
Minor Changes: t++, r--- removed (what is T$R?), tv+++, tv, d+++]

Geeks love to play. No matter their age, all geeks enjoy playing. Of course, the object of this entertainment takes a myriad of different forms. What is it that pushes a geek to play? Is it simply a desire to relive their childhood? Or perhaps there is a piece of geeky genetic code that requires intellectual stimulation. Who knows, maybe it's a Freudian thing...

Star Trek

t+++

It's not just a TV show, it's a religion. I know all about warp field dynamics and the principles behind the transporter. I have memorized the TECH manual. I speak Klingon. I go to cons with Vulcan ears on. I have no life.

t++

It's the best show around. I have all the episodes and the movies recorded and can quote entire scenes verbatim. I've built a few of the model kits too. But you'll never catch me at one of those conventions. Those people are kooks.

t+

It's a damn fine TV show and is one of the only things good on television any more.

t

It's just another TV show

t-

Maybe it is just me, but I have no idea what the big deal with Star Trek is. Perhaps I'm missing something but I just think it is bad drama.

t--

Star Trek is just another Space Opera. William Shatner isn't an actor, he's a poser! And what's with this Jean-Luc Picard? A Frenchman with a British accent? Come on. Isn't Voyager just a rehash of Lost in Space? Has Sisko even breathed in the last two seasons? Come on. I'd only watch this show if my remote control broke.

t---

Star Trek SUCKS! It is the worst crap I have ever seen! Hey, all you trekkies out there, GET A LIFE! (William Shatner is a t---)

t*

I identify with Barclay, the greatest of the Trek Geeks.

Role Playing

R+++

I've written and published my own gaming materials.

R++

There is no life outside the role of the dice. I know all of piddly rules of (chosen game). _MY_ own warped rules scare the rest of the players.

R+

I've got my weekly sessions set up and a character that I know better than I know myself.

R

Role-Playing? That's just something to do to kill a Saturday afternoon

R-

Gosh, what an utter waste of time!

R--

Role-Players are instruments of pure evil.

R*

I thought life WAS role-playing?

Television

tv+++

There's nothing I can experience "out there" that I can't see coming over my satellite dish. I wish there were MORE channels. I live for reruns of my favourite series.

tv++

I just leave the tv on, to make sure I don't miss anything.

tv+

I watch some tv every day.

tv

I watch only the shows that are actually worthwhile, such as those found on discovery channel.

tv-

I watch tv for the news and 'special programming.'

tv--

I turn my tv on during natural disasters.

!tv

I do not own a television.

 

Books

b++++

I read a book a day. I have library cards in three states. I have discount cards from every major bookstore. I've ordered books from another country to get my Favorite Author fix.

b+++

I consume a few books a week as part of a staple diet.

b++

I find the time to get through at least one new book a month.

b+

I enjoy reading, but don't get the time very often.

b

I read the newspaper and the occasional book.

b-

I read when there is no other way to get the information.

b--

I did not actually READ the geek code, I just had someone tell me.

Dilbert

DI+++++

I am Scott Adams.

DI++++

I've received mail from Scott Adams. I'm in the DNRC (Dogbert's New Ruling Class).

DI+++

I am a Dilbert prototype

DI++

I work with people that act a lot like Dilbert and his boss.

DI+

I read Dilbert daily, often understanding it

DI

I read Dilbert infrequently, rarely understanding it

DI-

Is that the comic about the engineers?

DI--

Don't read it, but I think the dog is kinda cute.

DI---

I don't think it's funny to make fun of managers trying their best to run their organizational units.

EgoShooter

D++++

I work for iD Software.

D+++

I create my own monsters, weaponry, sounds and maps. I always win in "Capture the Flag".

D++

I play all new shooters and even buy one occasionally. Became pretty good in some of them.

D+

These are fun, action games, that are a nice diversion on a lazy afternoon.

D

I've played EgoShooters and I'm pretty indifferent.

D-

I don't now what people find in EgoShooters. Wasn't impressed.

D--

These are overly-violent game and pure crap.

D---

I miss Zork!

D----

I've seen better on my Atari 2600.

The Geek Code

G+++++

I am Robert Hayden

G++++

I have made a suggestion for future versions of the code (note that making a suggestion just to get a G++++ rating doesn't count, you also have to at least qualify for a G+++ rating :-)

G+++

I have memorized the entire geek code, and can decode others' codes in my head. I know by heart where to find the current version of the code on the net.

G++

I know what each letter means, but sometimes have to look up the specifics.

G+

I was once G++ (or higher), but with the new versions I'm confused.

G

I know what the geek code is and even did up this code.

G-

What a tremendous waste of time this Geek Code is.

G--

Not only a waste of time, but it obviously shows that this Hayden guy needs a life.

LIFESTYLE

[This category stays the same as in the version3.12.
(Minor changes in h++, h--, r++)]

Geeks, unlike the lower lifeforms known as nerds, have lives. They have things to do that are in the outside world. Of course, this is usually done with other geeks, but that's not the point. The point is, that geeks are not necessarily the outcasts society often believes they are. The fact is that society isn't kool enough to be included in our activities.

Education

e+++++

I am Stephen Hawking

e++++

Managed to get my Ph.D.

e+++

Got a Masters degree

e++

Got a Bachelors degree

e+

Got an Associates degree

e

Finished High School

e-

Haven't finished High School

e--

Haven't even entered High School

e*

I learned everything there is to know about life from the "Hitchhiker's Trilogy".

Housing

h++

Living in a cave with 47 computers and an Internet flatrate. The pizza delivery guy is my closest friend. See !d.

h+

Living alone, get out once a week to buy food, no more than once a month to do laundry. All surfaces covered.

h

Friends come over to visit every once in a while to talk about Geek things. There is a place for them to sit.

h-

Living with one or more registered Geeks.

h--

Living with one or more people who know nothing about being a Geek and refuse to watch Star Trek.

h---

Married. (Persons living romantically with someone might as well label themselves h---, you're as good as there already.)

h----

Married with children - Al Bundy can sympathize

h!

I am stuck living with my parents!

h*

I'm not sure where I live anymore. This lab/workplace seems like home to me.

Relationships

r+++

Found someone, dated, and am now married.

r++

I've dated my current partner for a long time.

r+

I date frequently, bouncing from one relationship to another.

r

I date periodically.

r-

I have difficulty maintaining a relationship.

r--

People just aren't interested in dating me.

r---

I'm beginning to think that I'm a leper or something, the way people avoid me like the plague.

!r

I've never had a relationship.

r*

signifying membership in the SBCA (Sour Bachelor(ette)'s Club of America). The motto is 'Bitter, but not Desperate'. First founded at Caltech.

r%

I was going out with someone, but the asshole dumped me.

Sex

This code also is used to denote the gender of the geek. Females use 'x' in this category, while males use 'y'. Those that do not wish to disclose their gender can use 'z'. For example:

• x+ -- A female who has had sex
• y+ -- A male who has had sex.
• z+ -- A person (gender undisclosed) who has had sex.

For those persons who do not wish to give out any details of their sex life, the use of z? (where z is the gender code) will allow you to do so.

z+++++

I am Chasey Lain.

z++++

I have a few little rug rats to prove I've been there. Besides, with kids around, who has time for sex?

z+++

I'm married, so I can get it (theoretically) whenever I want.

z++

I was once referred to as 'easy'. I have no idea where that might have come from though.

z+

I've had real, live sex.

z

I've had sex. Oh! You mean with someone else? Then no.

z-

Not having sex by choice.

z--

Not having sex because I just can't get any...

z---

Not having sex because I'm a nun or a priest.

z*

I'm a pervert.

z**

I've been known to make perverts look like angels.

!z

Sex? What's that? I've had no sexual experiences.

z?

It's none of your business what my sex life is like (this is used to denote your gender only).

!z+

Sex? What's that? No experience, willing to learn!

• Number of geek-shirts in one's possession
• Number of noteboos/computers
• Number of installed OSes
• OpenSource
• Blogs